Car Ride Revelations

Ella Grace, from the back seat: "Wow!"
Me: "What?"
Ella: "The sign on that fence said, 'Beware of god!'"

Mason: "Mom, what's 24 times 60?"
Me: "I don't know, man. I'd have to sit down and think about that, and I'm tired."
Mason: "Well, when I figure that out, I'll know how many seconds are in a day, and that will be an evolutionary breakthrough, for a second grader!"

He has a fabulous idea for an invention, but I warned him not to tell anyone, so he can work on that when he's a grownup and change the world. He's going to be a household name someday (in a good way, I think), and you can all say you knew him when he was a goofball. Well, a small goofball.

You're joking

We were telling funny stories and jokes at the dinner table the other night.

I told about Chicken Little, who went to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling!" What do you think the farmer said? "Holy cow! A talking chicken!" Hahahahahahah. Everyone laughed uproariously. Then Ella stops and says, "I don't get it." So Kathleen tells us about two muffins sitting in an oven, and one turns to the other and says, "Man, it's getting hot in here." The other replies, "Oh my gosh! A talking muffin!" Hahaha. Still nothing from Ella. Kathleen turns to her and says, "Ella." Ella responds, "What?" "Oh my gosh! A talking girl!" Still nothing. Good grief.

So, changing the subject, I tell the kids about the pregnant woman who is getting in the shower, and her three-year-old daughter comes in and says, "Mom, you are getting really fat." "Yeah, I know, honey. Remember, Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy?" The child responds, "Yeah. I know. But what's growing in your butt?" Hahahahahahaha (especially 'cause Mom said BUTT.) Mason almost falls out of his chair laughing, then turns to me, wiping his eyes and catching his breath. "So, what WAS growing in her butt?"

Politically correct

We were talking about the difference between calling a person "African-American" or "black", and Mason said he'd rather be called "white", because "Caucasian" is a weird word.

Ella Grace piped up, "I like to be called PEACH."

I think I'll mark that on my next survey.